Creepers Who Text ;/

(Random one night stand)

Male Creeper (9/26/2011) 6:36pm: Hey is everything ok? I’m wondering if your ignoring me or sleeping?? If you are ignoring me please just tell me so I can leave ya alone and not bother you… I’d rather know than not know.

Male Creeper 6:44pm: Hello?

Me 9:31pm: Slept, phone died, and ignoring

Male Creeper 9:35pm: Ignoring me? ON purpose??

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 10:32pm: ?????

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (9/26/2011) 12:21am: Well hope your having a good night

Me:(no response)

Male Creeper 9:23pm: Just sating hi

Male Creeper 9:23pm: saying

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (9/28/2011) 1:21am: hey you

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 10:34pm: hey are you awake? If so jus tell me to lose your number if that’s the deal.

Me: lose it.

Male Creeper 10:35pm: For real??

(My friend moved from California to Virginia, and I had given her my number. She webcammed me and introduced me to her guy friend [who eventually got my number] You have to understand that this guy wasn’t a friend of choice for her, they were like forced to be friends because of their families are very close. He has bag under his eyes and his hair is all uneven. He looks like he’s half insane.)

Male Creeper 4/10/11 (the very first conversation I had with him, knew nothing about him): Hey, wasn’t it your birthday yesterday?

Me: Uh, yeah?? Did *friends name* tell you?

Male Creeper: No.

Me: How’d you know?

Male Creeper: I’m good.

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (4/11/11): I miss you.. so so much.

Me: Wait, what?

Male Creeper: We should webcam again tonight, for our second date.

Me: Date??? Uh… o.O

Male Creeper: I thought you’d never ask!!!!!!

(By that time I get a phone call from my friend freaking out because he told his family we were dating, which I explained we weren’t.)

Me: (a webcam invite from him) (I denied)

Me: (another) (denied)

Me: (another) (denied)

Me: (I get an IM)

Male Creeper’s IM: I want you to know I will give you all the space you need because I really like you *insert my full name here*. Even if you ignore me, I know you have good reasoning because I know you feel the same way!

Male Creeper (4/26/11): Hey, I’m on my way to Cali to come and see my baby girl!

Me: uhhh no…Have you already left?

Male Creeper: Nope, starting the truck now.

Me: Turn it off. I’m not your girlfriend. I made that clear.

Male Creeper: Oh, your so funny!!!

(Luckily he didn’t know where I lived, I eventually blocked his number)

(This is my fiancee’s ex-girlfriend. She came over to my fiancee’s house to “make amends”, but instead went through his phone and got my number.)

Female Creeper 9:53pm: hey is this *name*?

Me 9:54pm: Yes, may I ask who this is?

Female Creeper 9:56pm: *fiancee’s ex’s name*

Me 9:57pm: Hello. How did you get my number?

Female Creeper 10:01pm: From his phone. So are u enjoying fucking him?

Me 10:03pm: Excuse me?

Female Creeper 10:07pm: Becuz he was mine first bitch. U think becuz he put a ring on it that he iz all urs?

Me 10:09pm: Please stop texting me.

Female Creeper 10:27pm: I no where u live and im comin to kill u

Me 10:28pm: I’m calling the police.

Female Creeper 10:30pm: Plz dont! I cant git busted again

Me 10:31pm: Then leave us alone.

Female Creeper 10:35pm: So duz he make u cum?

Female Creeper 10:42pm: i bet u dont plz him liek i do

(At this point I called the police, showed them the texts, and got a restraining order against her.)

(This random guy added me on Facebook a while back. He was pretty cool to fb chat with and talk to, we even hung out a few times in person. I also played a few games with him on xbox, since I own my own. Eventually, though, his messages on Facebook chat got really clingy and creepy, and I stopped talking to him. He got a phone shortly after that.)

Male Creeper (May 31) 2:03pm: I miss you racklefratzer :) how are you? PS its *name*.

Me 2:09pm: You have texting now?

Male Creeper 2:33pm: Yeah :)

Me 2:34pm: Nice!

Male Creeper 2:35pm: What’s up goober :3?

Me 2:36pm: (Described a game I was playing and how I was annoyed with it)

Male Creeper 2:52pm: I would help if you could teach me :)

Me 2:59pm: Trust me when I say no.  You wouldn’t

Male Creeper 2:59pm: I would love to help you :D

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (June 2) 1:05pm: We should do something soon :D

Me 1:17pm: I’ll be busy this weekend tho ]:

Male Creeper 1:17pm: Well I miss you mami you knows

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (June 4) 1:42pm: I miss you mami!

Me 1:43pm: I’m gonna be busy today, I told you!

Male Creeper 1:45pm: I know but I do miss you a lot..

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (June 5) 1:27pm: Whats up chicken butt?

Me 1:30pm: With my mom

Male Creeper 1:31pm: Doin whut whut

Me 1:31pm: Mall

Male Creeper 1:33pm: Gettin sum oversized brrraaaas and cat outfits :o?

Me 1:36pm: No?

Male Creeper 1:36pm: Sorry haha Im a horrible joker D:

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 1:41pm: How have you been though?

Me: (no response)

(He eventually took a hint and stopped texting me creepy stuff and just texting me altogether. He still messages me weird shit on facebook chat which I promptly ignore.)

(This kid worked with me, we hung a couple times outside of work and he creeped me out so I put some distance between us…then we hung out on accident and I ended up hooking up with his friend once, but it didn’t go anywhere after that. Then this happened about two weeks later).

Male Creeper 1:12am: Missed call

Male Creeper 2:24am: Missed call - Voicemail (1:06 minutes long, favorite part annotated in italics): “Hey *me*, it’s *creeper*. You know, I get that you are never there for me…as much as I was there for you…as a friend. But, don’t worry honey, I’ve got a good girlfriend actually, since we last hung out. She’s awesome. She’s actually Francis Ford Coppalla’s grand-daughter, and, uh, his production company is giving me $10,000 to make a short film. But, uh, it’s s-so sweet of you, the fact that I really cared about you, visited you in the hospital, and you don’t have the decency to return any of my messages. You know, maybe I’m being dramatic, probably so, but that’s really fucking cold of you. You know I get it, you’re Russian, you’re not supposed to show your emotions and shit, but grow the fuck up. You know, I really cared about you, you’re like my sister and you really hurt me. So yeah, um, I love you to death girl but you need to grow the fuck up.”

Male Creeper 10:46am: Srry about that, alchohol plus the whole Coppola thing, kinda went on a power trip, know your busy olga, u mean a lot to me yo, and I’m really sorry, I hope you can make it to the beach, I’d love to tell ya more, stay classy gangsta ;)

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 11:19am: Man ur a tough nut to crack, and if you never want to talk again, fair enough, but let me part by saying I take back everything I said about eddie, he’s a spinless bastard who will absolutly hurt you, be careful sweetie, ur one of the keepers,  and never forget that”

Me: (no Response)

Male Creeper 3:25pm: Really, what’s ur problem…

Me: (no Response)

Male Creeper 3:47pm:…You can put on whatever front you want, but I know who you really are, your sweet, your the kind of person who deserves people to vist them in the hospital, so de friend me, be the cold as ice russian version of yourself, but know you’ll never fool me, we could have really benifted eachother professionally, but you have to be right, use that blue lighter and go, what’s the word…

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 4:07pm:…Oh yeah, fuck yourself…

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 4:43pm: One last thing, then I delete your number you self righteous, cruel person, next time your playing with eddies balls, can you give him 5 bucks for the card I bought you, it obviously didn’t mean shit to you, man, ur just a bad person at your core, have a nice life.”

(The Creeper works at the bank I used to go to. I saw him on the street one night when I was coming home. I mistakenly gave him my number to get him to leave after he insisted on walking me home despite my protests.)

Male Creeper (5/13) 4:02pm: hey what’s going on??

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (5/14) 12:34am: Just wondering what your last name is since you’ve told me.?

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (5/14) 9:47pm: Hey you busy tonight?

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (5/14) 10:53pm: Cool cool. Good to hear.

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (5/16) 11:08pm: Hey what’s going on?

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper (5/19) 3:54pm: Hey want to get late lunch/early dinner tonight?

Me: (no response)

(This is a guy I had been kinda friends with since freshman year of college. I made out with him junior year, and this year, the very end of senior year, days previous to this exchange, I drunkenly hooked up with him. He’s a nice guy, but persistent and he can’t take a hint, but that might be because I try not to be a bitch. This was also after he was at my house hanging out with my roommates.)

Male Creeper 12:59am: Why no hello earlier haha

Me 1:00am: Dunno, I was drunk haha

Male Creeper 1:01am: Fair enuff lol…why didnt u come out with us

Me 1:02am: I wasn’t invited

Male Creeper 1:02am: I jus figured u were chillen with *one of my roommates*…why wudnt they invite u?

Me 1:04am: Dunno

Male Creeper 1:04am: Ah ic…well u shud come

Me 1:05am: I don’t even know where you guys are, aside from the fact that I’m un winding right now with some friends

Him 1:06am: Were at *bar* playin darts

Him 1:06am: Im debatin leavin shortly tho

Me 1:08am: I’m actually just heading back to *my street*

Male Creeper 1:09am: Ah i gotcha…turning in?

Me 1:10am: No, going to Greg’s.

Male Creeper 1:11am: Greg who?

Me 1:12am: *Greg’s last name*

Male Creeper 1:13am: Oh nice…he live on *my street*?

Me 1:14am: Yup, near the end.

Male Creeper 1:15am: Did not kno that…u guys stayin there long?

Me 1:16am: Dunno

Male Creeper 1:17am: Ah i gotcha

Male Creeper 1:18am: Well if ya maybe wana meet up when ur done there let me kno

Me 1:19am: Maybe

Male Creeper 1:20am: I mean i figured ive had time to process what u meant by rough haha…i was confused…never been told to do that lol

(Apparently, in my drunken stupor, I told him that he was tame and that he needed to be more rough. He also told my roommate that I had given him the best BJ he’s ever gotten.)

Male Creeper 1:21am: Figure its only fair…u were great…i wasnt…and its only fair to return the favor haha

Me 1:23am: Eh it’s whatever

Male Creeper 1:24am: Haha well it cud be a good time if ur up for it

Me 1:26am: No thanks, prob gonna head home soon and sleep

Male Creeper 2:21am: Bout to leave *bar*

Male Creeper 2:25am: Still at gregs…im prob guna cook some food lol

Me 2:26am: No, I literally just walked into my house

Male Creeper 2:27am: Haha up for meeting up

Male Creeper 2:28am: Cuz i just left *bar*…i cud swing by haha

Me 2:30am: i’m just going to try to sleep.

Male Creeper 2:32am: so do u want me to come?

Me 2:33am: Ehh I’m pretty tired, won’t be able to stay awake for long, so no

Male Creeper 2:34am: We dont gotta be long…

Male Creeper 2:34am: So do i turn down *my street*?

Me 2:26am: I’m already in bed, goodnight

Male Creeper 2:28am: i think i kno what u want :)

Male Creeper 2:29am: I say we give it a shot…i gotta make up for the other nite haha…u dont gotta do nething to me…i jus gotta get u lol

Male Creeper 2:32am: What if i can get there in five mins lol

Me 2:38am: I’m trying to sleep, you really don’t need to make up for anything. I’m fine.

(Put my phone on silent at this point)

Male Creeper 2:40am: Haha but i feel bad! U were amazing…and i wanna give that back…but if ur not in the mood i suppose u wudnt enjoy…u sure…cuz i really wanna make u cum lol

Male Creeper 2:41am: I gotta get my redemption lol…itd be worth ur time :)

Male Creeper 2:50am: i mean everyone loves a good orgasm

Male Creeper 2:52am: dont think itll take long.

Male Creeper 2:53am: How about it lol

(This is one of my really good guy friends, he’s not a creeper, he just sends really funny creeper stuff out of the blue. He owed me breakfast because I made him and his buddy dinner one night.)

Me 8:14am: You owe me pancakes, wake your ass up.

Male Creeper 8:16am: it’s too early.

Me 8:20am: haha you owe me and I’m hungry, you promised.

Male Creeper 8:25am: Nibble on a clif bar. My roommate has people crashing on the couch and I got hammered last night, text me at 10 they’ll be gone and i won’t be as hungover.

Me 8:27am:ok

Me 10:09am: it’s 10 mr

Male Creeper 10:12am: ok, i’m up

Male Creeper 10:13am: God I wake up with a raging boner every morning.

Me 10:15am: haha gross, cook my shit, I don’t care about your boner.

(I met this kid at a bar who had been in a car accident so he had some motor skills issues and had difficulty speaking clearly, but his “intellect” was intact. I gave him my number because I felt bad for him and he seemed nice enough. I later found out he was 21 and therefore 7 years younger than I was and told him he was too young…in addition to not finding him attractive, and not wanting to be friends after he insulted my gay friends within 10 minutes of meeting.)

Male Creeper (12/16) 11:37 pm: Am I honestly too young?

Me 11:39 pm: Somewhat

Male Creeper 11:41 pm: Don’t text me then, but that wipes the smile right off my face, cause I honestly like older ladies, they are much sweeter, and respect that I got in an accident and don’t think I’m a retard:)

Me 11:43 pm: I get that. I am just someone who gets that there are a lot of differences between people whose ages are too far apart. There is a lot that happens between 21 and 27-28.

Me 11:50 pm: I don’t just go for something after two hangouts anyway.

Male Creeper 11:51 pm: Ok, I’ll take it slow for you:)

Male Creeper 12:05 am: i think your a sweetheart, and have a great night:)

Male Creeper (12/17) 9:01 am: Good mornin:)

Male Creeper 12:38 pm: I thought you were gonna add me on facebook, what happened?

Male Creeper 6:17 pm: (He proceeds to send a picture of his face) How do I look?

Male Creeper (12/18) 2:46 pm: Good mornin:)

Male Creeper 6:55 pm: What up hun?

Male Creeper (12/19) 12:00 pm: Good mornin:) I don’t think I’ll be at the [bar] this thursday.

Male Creeper (12/20) 11:03 am: Good mornin.

Male Creeper (12/23) 12:02 pm: What up?

Male Creeper (12/25) 12:29 pm: Merry Christmas:)

Male Creeper (12/30) 12:34 pm: I have a question.

Male Creeper (12/31) 5:54 pm: You should come to the [bar] tonight, and be my new years kiss:)

Male Creeper (1/1) 10:29 am: I hope the best for you 2011, just so you know:)

Male Creeper (1/1) 2:46 am: You should honestly go to the [bar] tonight

Male Creeper (1/6) 12:49 pm: What’s up-

Male Creeper (1/9) 2:10 pm: What up?

Male Creeper (1/10) 9:30 am: Yo, first day of college for me, I’m super excited:)

Male Creeper (1/10) 8:09 pm: [some idiotic text forward]

Male Creeper (1/14) 3:15 pm: I have a song for you to listen to, it makes me feel awful, the girl who sings it is beautiful, and has such a pretty voice, but she makes it sound terrible.

Male Creeper (1/15) 3:45 pm: Wanna chat?

Male Creeper (1/16) 8:34 pm: Hey:)

Male Creeper (1/21) 8:25 am: Good mornin:)

Me (1/21) 8:47 am: Ok I am just going to ask. Why do u keep texting me? U text every few days for the last month and I never respond. What exactly do you think is going to happen

Male Creeper (1/21) 8:48 am: You’ll respond eventually, I’ll erase your number, I’m sorry.

(I later found out that he pretty much does this exact same thing to every single female server at the bar and probably any woman who gives him a phone number. We checked our phones against one another and it’s not like we were receiving group texts. They were all different. I guess quantity over quality?)

(These texts are from a guy who I originally added and spoke with on facebook because I was interested in him being a local photographer. I thought he was nice, so we exchanged numbers, and come to find out, he’s a massive creeper who enjoys desperately attempting to hook up with girls who are significantly younger than him, and not only did I figure this out for myself, but I was told by a couple friends who are aware of his ways. This conversation was the first of his attempts to sexually hit on me and was followed by a picture of him holding his own dick days later.)

Male Creeper 3:03pm: what are you doing?

Me: filling out a job application for aldo.

Male Creeper 3:05pm: My friend works there! shes been there for years.

Me: awe, i love that place.

Male Creeper 3:07pm: Mhm. but seriously, why cant we hangout! it kills me!

Me: we always catch each other at the worst times.

Male Creeper 3:10pm: Haha. well i’m always off on sundays.. and im free most evenings.. ;)

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 3:32pm: You’re so attractive, it makes me want to do fun things to you :) you look yummyy

Male Creeper 4:00pm: Just saying.

Male Creeper 4:45 pm: Crickettsssss.

Male Creeper 6:02 pm: Let’s hangout!

(Next day)

Male Creeper 8:03pm: Hang out with meee!

Me: (no response)

Male Creeper 8:11pm: (sends dick pic)

(He still continues to send me texts to this day that consist of him eagerly begging for me to spend time with him, which are either ignored or denied. Tears for his whole life.)